So, as you can tell from the above (poor quality, seriously lacking iPhone) photo, this night is not going well for me.
Can you see that there is no pink dot next to the PM?
That's because it is (now) 3:44 a.m.
<<in the morning>>
Since I climbed into bed at 11:23 p.m., I have...
...spent an embarrassing amount of time on Facebook
...Instagram
...Pinterest (x3)
...I have checked my email
...texted a friend
...talked to a friend (on the phone)
...cleaned my bathroom
...filled (and emptied) my water bottle
...twice...
...tossed and turned and tossed some more
...gotten a snack (I haven't eaten in 6 *waking* hrs)
...checked my bank account
...spent more time on Instagram (people don't post much in the middle of the night)
...had one more look at Pinterest (I really want to learn how to sew)
...seriously evaluated my 5 year plan
(Just kidding. I don't actually have a 5 year plan).
...also seriously contemplated vacuuming since I have put it off all week, but I will blog instead.
Aren't you lucky?
(I am totally kidding. My late night early morning rants have no chance of being witty, helpful or probably even worth anyone's time).
I nearly just had a melt-down when it took me a good 30 seconds to find the ABC button. Thank you Blogger for not removing it. I really like it sometimes.
So, I think I have a point to this post. Please bear with me.
The first 23 days of 2015 have been pretty rough for me. And, actually, a lot of people I know as well. I am not looking for sympathy or for the opportunity to go into detail in such a public forum about my personal demons/issues/catastrophes but I do want to address the fact that I am extremely frustrated that I cannot pull myself together enough to get back on the health and fitness wagon.
Seriously.
This is not brain science.
Or rocket surgery.
I still have good, strong moments. I just seem to be unable to string enough of them together to have good, strong days and weeks.
I actually haven't even gained that much weight back. I'm still pretty far from having to be cut out of my house.
I hope.
I also am doing pretty okay with exercise. There's definitely room for improvement, but I manage to work out on my own about 3 times a week and, of course, I let Mike beat on me another 2 times each week.
However, I still feel defeated.
I have definitely lost the excitement and motivation I had last year.
I know that it's completely mind over matter and I just have to decide to make this a priority again but I can't seem to find that switch.
So, for now, I just have to go through the motions and be successful when I can make myself and keep trying to pull my butt out of bed every single morning (not tomorrow...uh today) at 5:15 a.m. to work out.
Why is that my Everest?!
I just need to decide that I want to be healthy more than I want anything else.
So, I am going to re-brush my teeth and (hopefully) fall right to sleep and start again with being completely dedicated in about 6 hours.
Thank goodness it's the weekend.
(btw, thanks for listening)
Blogging is way cheaper than therapy.
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