Disappointment

I will preface this post with sorry you have not heard from me in forever!!!  Cali has been carrying us cupcake girls by way of posting…

I have not been completely on board with my nutrition lately and the last thing I feel like I am qualified to write about is nutrition or exercise…

Mike recently decided to weigh us in again since he had given us leeway for WAY TOO LONG!!!  I stepped on that scale and was so disappointed that I had gained “7 POUNDS” Holy Cow!!! You know how hard it is to take off 7 pounds? But how easy it is to put it back on? I was embarrassed and very disappointed in myself.  

May I quote Mike when I stepped on that scale, “Well you gained ALMOST 10 pounds!”  That was hard to hear from him, I really honestly try to make him proud of me when at all possible.  When Mike stares in to your eyes with his very disappointed look you really just want to cry!  

So a week and a half later we weighed in again, I lost 2 pounds which means I am still up by 5 pounds!!!

I really need a SWIFT KICK IN MY PANTS!!!  So back to the drawing board for me…  

I feel like I have been stuck so long that it no longer seems possible for me to accomplish this goal.  I know that’s not true but your mind can convince you of anything.

Do Not Settle

Life Without Mike

We had our first workout sans Mike tonight.

We were all worried that it would be completely awful, but it was great.

(Don't worry Mike, we do miss you - please come back to us soon).

We will have 4 workouts without Mike's vast training knowledge, motivation, guilt and perfectly sculpted abs [just kidding on the last one. None of us have actually seen his abs - not yet, anyway (he is unbelievably shy and modest). We are still holding out hope every single day].

So, he gave us the assignment of coming up with our own workouts. I just think he is too busy having the time of his life off in Ghana and doesn't want to worry about it. Or, he just wants to laugh at what we plan. OR, he totally trusts that we have learned a lot during our time with him and that we'll come up with exceptional workouts.

Whatever the reason, challenge accepted.

In fact, I volunteered to plan the first workout.

Here's what I came up with:

(Please don't laugh at me - um, actually, you can. I don't know what everything is called so I made most of the names up).

It was a really hard workout. Seriously. I couldn't even do the whole workout that I planned.

Pretty pathetic, right?

(The only thing I didn't do all of was those dang burpees. Man, they are tough! I was way too ambitious when I cooked this whole workout up. I did a total of 65 burpees, which is a little more than 1/2 of what I planned, so there's definitely room for improvement).

Note to self: Do not plan more than about 50 burpees for any one workout.

I was clearly too eager to play trainer today.

Brianne and Charis rocked the workout. I am so proud of them. The other girls had their own workout and also did an outstanding job.

So, we will survive without Mike. But only for four workouts. Our motivation for the next few days is the weigh-in that is waiting for us at our first post-Ghana workout.

Please wish us luck! This is an insanely hard month to stay on track.

You Are Not the Boss of Me!

'Tis the season to be insanely busy, right?

Man, life is good but so, so crazy.

(However, not so crazy that I can't fit in at least one episode of New Girl each and every day).

I feel it's important to have priorities.

I saw this the other day and just about died laughing:

(So, Damon Wayans Jr can yell at me any time he wants...seriously. I have such a crush on that man).

Does this remind you of anyone you (or I) know?

Yeah, I can't quite put my finger on it either ;)

I sent this to Mike the other night and he was still laughing about it when I saw him 2 days later.

The funny part is that I tell people that this is how he is - that he's mean and yells at us all the time, but it's pretty far from the truth. I didn't realize how far from the truth it is until he actually tried to yell at us at Thursday's workout.

The poor guy cannot yell.

Don't get me wrong, he is mean. But, in more of a quiet, guilt-inducing way. And, he has these looks of murder that are serious enough that I do 100 burpees without much complaint.

Most days.

Okay, actually, no days because I complain all the time, but I typically do what he says.

Either way, I'm getting what I pay for.

And loving every minute of it.

(so not convincing)

So, yeah, my new thing is that when he tells me to do something I don't want to do (like 300 tricep dips - crazy!), I say "You're not the boss of me!"

Which is super ironic because, as we all know, he really is.

Seven Pounds

Hi. Long time, no see.

Sorry for the radio silence. It's been a busy week.

But, a good one.

Until last night, anyway.

We had to weigh in last night.

It was the first weigh-in in about 3 months...and it was BRUTAL.

I have not been doing well eating-wise and I could definitely be doing better with exercise.

I'm sad to say that I have all but fallen off the wagon these past few weeks, and that makes me really sad. We all know and love people who have lost a bunch of weight only to put it right back on - heck, I am that person. I have ridden the weight loss roller coaster pretty much my whole dang life.

However, unlike so many times before, this minor set-back doesn't mean that it's time for me to throw in the towel. I have such a good thing going and I would be absolutely crazy to give this up. I have an outstanding trainer. (Sure, most days he is not my favorite person, but that's because he's a great trainer. If I liked him all the time, he wouldn't be pushing me hard enough).

I also have the best workout team on the planet. These girls are so supportive and motivating.

Yes, we enable each other in our bad habits a little too much, but we are putting an end to this. No more, "Oh, we can have a Blizzard. It's Crystal's birthday!" or "Man, work is so stressful, let's have some doughnuts and Cheetos!"

We don't do this often, but food rewards are now a thing of the past.

(Yes, I am fully aware that I am saying this at 10:45 pm the night before Thanksgiving, but no more eating with reckless abandon - NO MORE!)

I ate super well today. And, guess what? I feel great! It is so amazing the difference good food makes in how I feel.

Put good in, get good out.

It's definitely not rocket science but it is so easy for me to ignore the truth and go for instant gratification.

It is a battle I am going to face every single day of my life.

I love bad food so very much.

I went to lunch with a friend today and, in between bites of our delicious salads and sips of cool, refreshing ice water, we talked about how much we love french fries.

I really, really do.

If I could eat them every single day with no bad consequences, I for sure would.

I'm from Idaho and I love potatoes in all forms...most especially fried. (I'm not really sure that there was a point to that confession, but there you go. Just an FYI, I guess).

However, I digress. 

If you can't tell by the title of this post, last night's weigh-in did not go well for me - or anyone else, for that matter.

I unwillingly dragged myself to the scale in the corner of the gym when Mike summoned me. I knew this would not turn out well. Mike was not pleased but I did not need to see his look of disappointment to know that I need to make some changes.

Or, maybe I did. Accountability is huge. It is definitely a game-changer, at least for me. For some frustrating reason, I am not strong enough to make these changes on my own. I need someone who cares and who holds me accountable for every pound I do or do not lose and pushes me harder than I could ever push myself.

So, yeah, I have gained 7 freaking pounds since the last weigh-in. I am so frustrated with myself. I know that this doesn't mean that I have failed and should just give up, good effort, just go back to your fat girl ways, but it's hard not to be discouraged.


However, I know that I can still do this. I can will get back up, work hard and reach my ultimate goals.


Self-image is an interesting thing. At one point in this journey (just a few weeks ago), I had lost 62 pounds. That is not a little bit of weight. That is a substantial amount and I am pretty proud of that. I have gained (only) 7 of those pounds back. I am not proud of that, by any means, but I am a far cry from where I was 9 months ago.


However, this little voice in my head keeps telling me that I have failed. "Give up," it says. "You gave it your best shot but this just isn't for you. Go drown your sorrows in ice cream. Being the fat girl wasn't really that bad. Besides, you love french fries. They make you happy. You deserve to have them more!"


And, it's not just that little voice. My eyes are being mean too. All I see when I look in the mirror is a fat girl. Just a couple of weeks ago, I didn't run away from being in pictures because I had finally reached the point where I felt like I looked okay. I am still a ways from my ultimate weight-loss goal, but I was excited about my progress.


Funny how 7 little pounds has changed that.


I feel like Martin Short in Pure Luck when he got stung by a bee:

I got this image here.

Some days, this is honestly what I see:

This is not a real picture. I used a Make Me Fat app.

I am not sharing these feelings to get sympathy or praise. I am just working through some self doubts and frustrations and, maybe, if anyone else is feeling discouraged and huge, my struggles can help.

I definitely don't have it all figured out but I am getting better at finding ways to push that little voice of discouragement aside and focus on the progress I have made - and will continue to make. 

(Unfortunately, I did not miraculously grow long, flowing locks. I'm wearing extensions in this picture).

Yes, gaining 7 pounds is frustrating, but it's not the end of the world.

Neither is 20, 40, 1oo pounds.

Get up, dust yourself off and get moving.

That's what I'll be doing, starting right this second. 

p.s. guess how many sit-ups Mike made me do last night?!

Just guess!

400!!

Did you hear me? 400! My abs are on fire!

Coughing, laughing, sneezing and just sitting up are going to be rough for a couple of days. 

Someday...

In 2006, I went to Los Angeles with my good friend Shannon and we met up with my other good friend Rachel and had a really good time.

In Santa Monica, there is an H&M right next door to a Pinkberry. Pretty much heaven right there in the strip mall.

I found the cutest red jacket that was too small for me but I had to have it. 

I just had to.

Besides, I was planning to lose weight and knew that one day,  someday, I would be able to wear it.

I just didn't know that one day would be 8 years later.

It's good to have goals, right?

Well, I am so happy to say that SOMEDAY was two days ago.

HOORAY!

It's so cute, huh?

Don't you just want to die over the polka-dot lining?

<<It's really the best part>>

Hold out for those somedays!

Potential

You Can't Make Me

I don't love to run. 

I never have and I'm pretty positive I never, ever will. 

(Um, but let's be honest...it's been pretty well-documented on this blog that there isn't much physical activity that I do love).

Why do people think running is fun? Why do they choose to do it? It has to feel better for other people than it does for me. That's the only reason I can think of. 

I just got back from a 2 mile run - ummmm, let's continue to be honest, a 2 mile jog/walk/jog/walk/walk/walk. 

I was peer-pressured into it by a good friend who seemed really excited to go running with me. Little did she know that I have absolutely zero stamina and it turned from a run into a brisk walk pretty quickly.

And, I do mean BRISK! It was a balmy 34 degrees.

Why do I live in Utah again?!

I would also like the record to show that I attended a church function tonight and the main event was to bring and share your absolute favorite homemade treat. You guys, I live for homemade treats - well, I used to. There were peanut butter cup cookies and some sort of chocolate covered chex mix delight, brownies and 1,000 other types of cookies and Rice Krispie treats and all manner of deliciousness. And, guess what?

I had none of it.

Not one single morsel of sugar. 

Do you know that 8+ months later, it is still really hard? Avoiding sugar and other bad food will be hard every single day of my life. I am not always good at it. In fact, I haven't eaten so great the past few days. But, I prepared to succeed tonight. I ate a good meal before I left, drank a lot of water and chewed a delicious piece of gum...and, I did it!

Another small victory in my battle to be fit. 

I went to lunch with a friend today and was telling about some crazy thing that happened at the gym and that I was complaining to Mike about something (as per usual), then I said, "and it's just so frustrating because Mike just bosses us around and makes us do really hard things...and, for some strange reason, we do it!"

<<I am such a drama queen>>

My friend grabbed his phone and showed me a text I had sent him like the day before...

Well played friend.

In all honesty, Mike does control me.

And, I wouldn't have it any other way.

But, I don't have to like it and I will probably always complain about it, so buckle up.

Service Opportunity

 

 (we got this photo here)

Hello All -

Our trainer Mike is visiting his home country of Ghana in December and has asked for donations of clothes, toys, shoes and/or money to give to children there.

(He will be gone for 2 weeks and we are a little worried that we will fall off the fitness wagon while he's gone, eat our feelings and have to be cut out of our houses).

It just might make our Christmas season a little more enjoyable though.

 

Here is the message he sent us: 

"Hi friends. I am traveling to Ghana this December. I am collecting gifts like clothes, shoes, toys, money (cost to travel with items) etc. These gifts I will personally hand out to families in need. I will also give to the Bishop's Storehouse (go here if you don't know what that is) to bless families during this Christmas holiday. With your help, I know that we can make a difference in the lives of the struggling children and families this Christmas season. Please contact me if you will like to contribute. Thank you."

We are all contributing and hope to spread the word so we can make a little bit of difference to the adorable children in Ghana. If you are interested, please email us at recoveringcupcakeaddicts@gmail.com

Thank you and God bless!

   

Just Because

I find this hilariously funny.

Happy Monday. 

 

Quinoa Black Bean Salad

I am continually on the hunt for healthy and delicious recipes.

I mean, just because we choose to eat healthy doesn't mean we can't have fun, right?

I am trying to be excited about quinoa because I know it's super good for me. However, until last night, I just couldn't talk myself into loving it.

This has all changed, my friends.

I wanted something delicious for dinner and after a quick Google search, I found this amazing salad.

Quinoa and Black Bean Salad

1 tsp olive oil

1 onion chopped

(or if you're me, just buy the frozen onions that are already chopped and use about 1/2 of the bag - I hate chopping onions)

2 cloves garlic

3/4 c quinoa (rinsed well)

2 c chicken broth

(I added 2 tsp of chicken bullion to 2 c of water and let it simmer for about 5 minutes)

1/2 tsp ground cumin

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

1 c frozen white corn

1 can black beans (drained and rinsed)

3 T cilantro

(I'm not a huge fan of cilantro and I also hate chopping it so I bought it dried - in the spice aisle - and only added 3 T - or less. The original recipe calls for 1/2 a cup so put as much as you want)

Salt and pepper to taste

Over medium heat, sauté the onion and garlic in the olive oil until the onion is translucent - about 10 minutes.

Add the quinoa to the pan (do not forget to rinse it or you'll be sorry, huh Erica? It's really bitter if you don't rinse it well) and sauté it for about 5 minutes to brown it a little and bring out more of the taste. Make sure the heat isn't too high and that you stir it a lot so it doesn't burn.

Add the chicken broth, cumin, cayenne pepper and salt and pepper and bring this to a boil. Let it simmer for 12 to 15 minutes until the quinoa is soft and the broth is absorbed.

Add the frozen corn and let it heat through for about 5 minutes, then add the rinsed black beans and cilantro.

I ate it with grilled chicken and a green salad. It's amazing and I'm sure you'll love it.

I adapted this recipe and got the photo from Allrecipes.

It takes a little time and energy to make, but it is well worth the effort, I promise. It's also really good left over.

Enjoy!

No Excuses

I got my hair cut a couple of weeks ago and was talking about working out with my cute stylist/friend Becky. I've known Becky for more than 15 years. She's great.

She is also really tiny and has always been in great shape. She works for it though by eating well, doing boot camps and running on a regular basis.

She told me about another client of hers and a conversation they had recently. This girl struggles with her weight and was complaining to Becky that she would work out more, but that she just doesn't like it.

Honey, no one likes to work out.

It's painful...

...and uncomfortable...

...it's inconvenient...

...and hard...

...and dirty...

...and oh-so-smelly...

...it can be overwhelming...

...and, lots of times,  it's embarrassing...

But, the benefits far outweigh the cost and fitness is always more than worth any amount of effort you put into it.

We do this for the results.

My girls and I have serious anxiety every single Tuesday and Thursday prior to our training sessions.

What if I can't do it today?

What if I throw up at the top of the bleachers?

What if I fall off the treadmill in front of everyone?

What if Mike gets after me for not giving 100%?

What if I smell so bad that everyone has to leave the gym?

What if today is the day I actually die from excessive burpees/lunges/jump squats?

What if I pass out on the track and someone has to give me CPR?

What if I fail?!?!

All of these are very real possibilities and MOST have actually happened to me...and will continue to happen.

However...

The benefits still outweigh whatever pain, discomfort, inconvenience, anxiety and embarrassment that could ever happen.

And, you know what? Maybe because all of this could (and does) happen, we become stronger. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

Isn't this why we do this? Isn't this why we continually leave the comfort of our stretchy pants and cozy couches to voluntarily jump squat up and down one of the busiest streets in Orem? To become healthier and stronger and all-together better?

Yep, that's why I signed up for this.

Here's to results, whatever the cost.