Ok

I have recently entered the crazy world of online dating.

And, let me tell you, it has already been quite a ride.

I have met some really great guys. However, I have also met some world-class creeps. It is such an alternate universe. It's basically dating with very little to no accountability. When you meet someone online and exclusively message and/or text them, some guys think they can get away with asking whatever the heck they want. It is appalling to me the nitty gritty details of my life that guys think they have the right to know from the very first conversation - just because they sent me a 'flirt' on a dating website.

It's not every guy - not even close to the majority, but it has happened more than just a couple of times.

Even getting to the 'talking on the phone' stage has proven to be sketchy. It completely shocks me the cajones some of these dudes have. Like they don't have to treat me with respect because they don't know me? Because I'm not really a person with real feelings and morals? I'm just a profile on a bright screen?

Okay, so the real moral of this post is that one of the guys actually fat-shamed me...without ever having met me, without ever even having laid eyes on me. Of course I put photos of myself online where I think I look good. In fact, these are the 2 pix I have on my profile:

I adjusted the lighting a little and added a soft focus to the picture on the left. I did absolutely no other editing. I didn't edit the picture on the right at all, well, aside from the watermark. 

Oh, and, I'm wearing hair extensions in the photo on the right. Big deal. 

This is what I really look like. Did I choose pictures from a flattering angle? Yes. Did I make sure no cellulite was showing? Of course I did.

Am I being dishonest because I'm not spelling out all of my physical imperfections?

Absolutely not.

And guess what else? I am wearing make-up in both pictures. Oh, and my hair is washed and fixed too. I even shaved my legs and armpits. (TMI?!)

Shame on me!

But you know what? I get ready and take pride in my appearance every single day. These pictures, in reality, are ME.

This guy - having never even laid eyes on me in real life sent me the following text: "The hardest thing you're going to have to accept is that 99% of men are not attracted to over-weight people, which is why you've never been married and why you have missed out on so many things you've wanted in life." 

Um, excuse me?

Do you even know me? Are you my therapist? Is my size or dating history/marital status any of your freaking business?!

Also, (not that this gives anyone any right to body shame another person) are you a supermodel who has all of his shiz together?

Do you look anything like this?!

(I got this picture here)

He sent me that text after he saw this picture:

Yes, this is an unfortunate leaning forward, weird angle shot situation where it looks like my left boob is coming out of my stomach. Nothing I can do to fix that. However, it is just the angle of the picture and not how things are in real life. 

At least, not yet ;)

I just don't really understand what part of this picture gave him the idea that I am ridiculously obese and was lying to him for the 2 days that we texted and talked on the phone. He actually said that...that I was being dishonest about what I look like.

I have big boobs. I always have. I have worn a bra since the 4th grade. I will have big boobs even when I hit my goal weight. It's just how God made me. A lot of guys happen to find that attractive.

Clearly dude, you don't.

And that's ok.

Move on to the next profile, pal. There are plenty of fish in the online dating sea. 

(That isn't a plug for any specific website. That's not even the one I'm on).

He said that I'm a hypocrite because I would never date a guy who is over-weight. What? He clearly does not know me. I am far more concerned that the guys I date are decent human beings than if they have a 6-pack or not. I have dated and fallen in love with guys who are over-weight. I have also dated and loved guys who are slim, tall, short, bald...

Lol. That makes it sound like I've fallen in love a lot. I haven't, but my point is that I would much rather date an ok-looking guy who becomes hotter and hotter to me the more I get to know him than date a supermodel who gets less attractive the more his personality comes out.

This guy said other hurtful things that I won't ever revisit but I am still so shocked that he took it upon himself to let me know exactly why my life has sucked for all these years.

After only having talked to me for TWO days and never having even laid eyes on me. AND, I had only told him very little about my past. 

"Gee dude, thanks for helping me figure it out!"

Truth be told, my life doesn't suck and it never has. I have bad days just like every other person who has ever lived but I am happy because I try to be a good person. Do I want to be skinnier? Absolutely. And I'm working on it. Every single day.  I am far from being a supermodel but that is not my ultimate goal. I have a good heart and I am kind to others.

 And I think that, in and of itself,  makes me attractive.