In A Funk

I worry that I complain too much on this blog. 

However, I want this to be a true report of my experiences to live a healthier life and, truth be told, it’s not all positive and fun. There is a lot of pain, frustration, anger and defeat along the way.

And, for the record, I do find myself complaining probably more than necessary in real life (sorry friends and family), so this blog is a pretty accurate description of my current situation.

Please bear with me.

The past few weeks have been a little frustrating and I can’t put my finger on exactly why. Well, maybe I can. I am at war with my scale. I hate it and am addicted to it all at the same time. On average, I probably weigh myself 5 or 6 times a day. If I get up in the middle of the night to pee, I weigh myself. I weigh first thing in the morning and it’s the last thing I do before I go to bed. I am driving myself absolutely crazy.

My scale and I are about to break up.

As in, Mike is coming over to take it away.

I am pretty sure I am at such a painful plateau because I am so obsessed with numbers. The funny thing is that I really don’t care how much I weigh. Really, I don’t. I just want to be healthy, look good and be comfortable in my own skin. It’s easy to track progress with numbers (pounds and inches) but these numbers don’t always tell the whole story. Even though my weight hasn’t changed much in the past few weeks, I have noticed a huge change in how my clothes are (aren't) fitting and I feel great.

My current funk has even started to affect my training. I left in a mad fit from Tuesday’s workout, offending my poor trainer and the rest of my team. But, after talking it out and an attitude adjustment, I am back on track.

Erica and I were looking through old photos this morning and came across this gem (the one on the left). It makes me sad because I wasn’t really aware that I looked so bad. I mean, I knew I needed to make a lot of changes, but I always avoided photos and was basically kidding myself that things were okay. It’s actually embarrassing to me.

I was living in denial.

 

However, it is motivating to see the progress I’ve made, thus far. So, as hard as it is to share my whole story – the good, the bad and the ugly before photos, my goal is to - hopefully - encourage others to make positive changes.

It's possible and very worth it.