80/20

When I was in college, I spent a weekend at a cabin in Idaho with a bunch of friends. We met some guys and had a really great couple of days. I spent a lot of time with one of the guys and got to know him pretty well (don't worry Mom, nothing inappropriate happened). He was really cool and we hit it off - including some talk of maybe trying a long-distance thing. Well, that all came to a screeching halt when we had the following conversation the night before I left. I remember the conversation perfectly even all these years later. We were sitting on the back deck just enjoying the night when he said: "Cali, you are so great. I am so glad you came up this weekend and I got to meet you." (I promise that I am not tooting my own horn because you will not believe what he said next. I just want to illustrate that he was kinda into me and I honestly think what he said was meant to be a compliment - possibly. In some alternate universe...somewhere).

Are you ready?

"I would say that you are 80% personality and 20% looks." 

Um, excuse me?! What is happening?

(Wow Casanova, you sure know how to sweep a gal off her feet!)

Seriously.

I just sat there and stared at him and he just sat there smiling back at me. I honestly had no idea how to respond. This girl, the one who can never stop talking, didn't have words. 'Thank you' didn't quite feel right but neither did a slap across the face. In his defense, he had seen me in a bathing suit that very day but, c'mon, that is NOT something you say to a girl, especially one you like and are trying to date.

Isn't that something they teach in Dating 101? Not to say mean things to make your date cry?! He must have missed that day.

I asked him if he was kidding. "Of course not!" He was completely oblivious to the fact that this was - hands down - the worst thing anyone had ever said to me.

Ever.

This is what I was sure he would say next: "So, maybe if there's a future for us, I can just close my eyes or wear a blindfold whenever we're together. That way, I can still enjoy your wonderful personality (80%!) but not be distracted by your disgusting face."

Bless his heart.


Needless to say, I said good-bye to him the next morning and have not seen him since.

Please do not let other people's perception of you determine how you see yourself. Believe me, I am haunted by some pretty aggressive self-doubts and insecurities but I am learning to see beauty in myself and others despite what the world tells me. True beauty is not an air-brushed picture in a magazine or an emaciated model strutting down a runway. Real beauty comes with being a good person and recognizing that you have so much to offer the world because of who you are, not what you look like.